I hold these truths to be self-evident: If you are muslim and you are pissed for not being allowed onto a plane...you need to shut up.

http://www.mlive.com/newsflash/michigan/index.ssf?/base/news-40/1168996743279800.xml&storylist=newsmichigan

I'm all for discrimination if it's for America's best interest. "Most likely the airline was afraid of having 40 Muslim passengers on the flight". Can you freaking blame them?? It wasn't a dirty group of crazed rednecks that attacked the country with Boeing 767's last time I checked. Not to mention...think if you were one of the passengers on that flight...I don't know...maybe I'm crazy...but if I just saw 40 Muslims just back from a "pilgrimage" to Saudi Arabia (and by pilgrimage I think they mean a terrorist training camp) I'm not getting on that plane. I can't blame an Airline for not wanting to scare the crap of the other hundred passengers on the flight.

That's right...I said it. Screw being P.C.

 I hold these truths to be self-evident: I have discovered the worst Christmas song in the history of time.

Andy Williams is getting punched in the face....
Actual Douchebag:

I would love for you just to think that I'm exaggerating...but I'm not. Allow me to dissect the worst Christmas song...ever.

First Off...it's recorded in Branson Missouri (first sign of the suck to come).

Second...Andy Williams is old

Third...The lyrics make about as much sense as giving Michael J. Fox a Jenga set for Christmas. It's just mean to do it.

Actual Lyrics to the Worst Christmas Song Ever (don't actually read them...you will literally throw up...just proceed to the bottom and read the rest of what I have written. These are only here for reference to what I'm saying, please, do not actually use these in any way...or may God have mercy on your soul.):

Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
While the merry bells keep ringing
May your every wish come true

Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you

It's the holiday season
And Santa Claus is coming back
The Christmas snow is white on the ground
When old Santa gets into town
He'll be coming down the chimney, down
Coming down the chimney, down

It's the holiday season
And Santa Claus has got a toy
For every good girl and good little boy
He's a great big bundle of joy
He'll be coming down the chimney, down
Coming down the chimney, down

He'll have a big fat pack upon his back
And lots of goodies for you and me
So leave a peppermint stick for old St. Nick
Hanging on the Christmas tree

It's the holiday season
A whoop-de-do and dickory dock
And don't forget to hang up your sock
"Cause just exactly at 12 o'clock
He'll be coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney, down!

Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
While the merry bells keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you

Happy Holiday
Happy Holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy Holidays to you
To you ­
Happy Holiday (repeats to fade)

Let's go through this now so that I can point out the stupidity.

First off...if you actually hear this song, it's done by a self-proclaimed crooner who wouldn't be worth a shoe shine to Bing Crosby. Andy Williams sucks. End of Story.

Let's look at the lyrics themselves...

What the heck do Merry Bells and your wishes have to do with each other?? I'll tell you...I'm hearing the bells on the song wishing they would go away.

"May the calender keep bringing Happy Holidays to you"

- may my fist bring much pain to your face is more like it. This simple statement implies that A. the calender is the allseeing controller of time and if it wants it can end the Holidays for you and B. That Time can stop and no longer provide the Holliday Season for you.

"It's the holiday season
and Santa Claus is coming back
The Chirstmas snow is white on the ground
when  old Santa gets into town
He'll be coming down the Chimney, down
Coming down the chimney, down."

- good job moron...way to use the same word 4 times in two lines and pretend that it rhymes and flows...with itself.

"Leave a peppermint stick for Old St. Nick "

- What the heck?? I want to find the idiot who leaves peppermint sticks for Santa Claus and punch that guy in the face. If you don't know that Santa Claus wants milk and cookies by now I hope that your grandma gets run over by a reindeer. You are a fricken retard. The only other acceptable non-milk and cookie tradition is in the Netherlands where the children leave a snack for the reindeer in the form of hay in their wooden shoes. Let's face it, when you are having to drag around a big fat guy and all his luggage around the sky at billions of miles per hour you would want to stop in for a little snack too. I figure as long as I cover the milk and cookies and the kids in the Netherlands got the reindeer covered, we are all set. I'll show Andy Williams where he can put his peppermint stick.

"whoop-dee doo and dickery dock"

-....what the heck do either of those phrases have to do with Christmas?? Those are dumb phrases when not in conjunction with a Christmas song....much less with one that has the entire sound like it's trying to make you think it's actually one of the best classic Christmas songs ever.

"Don't forget to hang up your sock" -Sock is not an acceptable synonym for Stocking as far as Christmas is concerned. Christmas songs should not have references to my smelly socks. Besides...when was the last time you fit anything good into your socks...my feet aren't good...and if you are putting something else in your socks I don't want to know about it.

cause just exactly at 12′o’clock,
he’ll be comin down the chimney down,
he’ll be comin down the chimney down

-Who the heck are you to think you know when Santa is coming down the Chimney. The guy runs a tight ship, but even he isn't capable of the impossible. He uses the timezones to his advantage and does his best to make up time while over the Oceans (Hawaii for example does not have to worry about him sliding down their Chimneys...and there is more room under a Palm tree than a Blue Spruce). Again with the useless ryhmes...this time in reference to 12'o'clock. Really slick.


The song then continues to repeat it's uselessness over and over until it slowly takes over your mind to the point where think suicide might be the only way out. I hate Andy Williams so much.

If you disagree with me you are wrong.

I hold these truths to be self-evident: Brian Carpenter represents everything the Bill Elliot Award stands for.

My new Jeep...well...got driven like a Jeep is supposed to...right up to the point where I led her astray and onto the frame to the point where even 4x4 doesn't get you out. I would like to tell you about how bad it was and complain like crazy....but it was SO WORTH IT!!!

I apologize to everybody who's night was ruined by my little mishap while riding with Justin and Josh...and thanks to Brian Carpenter for being so excited to get involved in your own special way...you know...yanking the Jeep off from the situation it was in.

She earned the mud. For those of you who have not experienced going mudding...well...you are missing out big time. Just don't rely on a Ford to do a trucks work. Justin's **cough** "Truck". Big props to Brian Carpenter and that wicked little Dodge Dakota for dodging the worst stuff for the rescue.

I have to confess though...it's getting a nice long wash 'n wax tomorrow.

I hold these truths to be self-evident: Sometimes you have to do something because your friends want it done. These are for you Todd....I was going to wait 'til I had some better ones (you know...after the wash n wax and when there is a little more sun...stupid Michigan).

Actual Jeep Wrangler (hey, I've gotta keep with the usual format):

No Rust...Locking Rear Differential...Drop Top...4x4...Stick Shift.....A barrel 'o fun.